Seven Years Of Wonder

Scenario 1:

My sister, Cik Qist and I got into the car. I was about to drive. 

Me: "So Qist, are you ready? ARE YOU READYYY???" I asked as if I was a rock star asking fans if they are ready to see more performance. For my case, if she was ready to go for an adventurous drive, with the hope she would answer "yeahhh!"

Sekali answer aku dapat...

Qist: "Ready for whatttt??" Tu dia, jawapan selamba tanpa rasa bersalah.

"Potong stim betul budak ni," kata aku dalam hati sambil berasa boring. Aunty Tzar gelak sampai tak sudah.

Scenario 2:

It was first day of Hari Raya and my sister, Tzar was with Cik Qist in the living room. Cik Qist was happily running and hopping around.

Aunty Tzar: "Qist, nak raya tak? Jangan lompat-lompat sana-sini. Duduk diam-diam."

Qist:"Ok, ok nak raya!" *terus stop, tapi cepat jer sambung* "But wait, isn't it Hari Raya already?" *bagi statement bijak lepas tu terus melompat balik*

Aunty Tzar terus speechless. Tepuk dahi tak terkata apa dah.


Scenario 3: 

I went to my brother's (Qist's father) house one late afternoon to visit him and family. On the way, I stopped by at a shop and bought something for Qist. Sayang anak buah kan. So beli la ole-ole sikit to surprise her and make her happy.

Me: "Hey Qist, guess what? I brought something for you." I was hoping she would react happily and eager to get the surprise.

Sekali yang aku dapat...

Qist: "Well, I know." Perghh ayat confident.

Me: "What?? How did you know???" Dah start patah hati ni, but still curious nak tau. 

Qist: "It's just a hunch." Penuh relax dia menjawab.

Kau mampu? Budak 7 tahun dengan selamba reply "it's just a hunch". Menangis aku kat situ dengar and terasa bagaikan ada satu rak buku besar kat belakang aku yang mula tumbang dengan buku-bukunya jatuh menghempap diriku sambil mengejek yang surprise aku tak jadi. 

Cik Qist, Cik Qist. Ya, memang kau boleh buat aunty menangis tapi menangis dalam kegembiraan. Melayan keletah mu yang bijak and sentiasa pantas memberi respon. 

While most of my generation (including myself) at the age of seven could be friendly but not the 'muka tebal' type, you are the opposite. You are really confident for a very young lady. Kalau kita dulu-dulu time Raya, tengok uncles or aunties kita keluarkan angpau or duit raya nak bagi kat kita pun kita dah rasa seronok. Berharap jer dalam hati  yang dalam paket tu, duit kaler merah. Or hijau. Biru pun not so bad la, janji dapat. Lepas tu ngada-ngada buat-buat segan dapat duit raya sambil cakap terima kasih, tapi dalam hati teriak "Yahoo! Aku kaya!!".

But Cik Qist? Suka hati jer bagi statement kat Tok Ibu dia: 

"Can I have 50 dollars for duit raya please?" 

Kau mampu? Takde Cik Qist ni nak segan silu bagai, siap demand upfront lagi. Yang best tu, dia dapat pulak tu! Untung, untung Cik Qist ni. Kalau time aku dulu, jangan harap ler. 

Cik Qist just turned seven yesterday. Cik Qist, seven years is really fast. Watching you grow up from baby until you are in school now just made me realised how time flies. 

You are smart, funny, friendly and kind. Keep it up, young lady. You have the potential to become a great personality. 

Here's to a greater life pursuit:

Happy Birthday Cik Qist!! Muahh muahhh!

And here is something for you to reflect in the next 20 years:

I love you Cik Qist.

My Untitled Eid

I am feeling this awkwardness right now. Awkward for not being with my family for Eid, although it is Hari Raya Aidil Adha and not Aidil Fitri. Unfortunately, I am not able to go back to my hometown this time around since Aidil Adha falls in the middle of the week, and work in the office demands for my attention more than anything else (baby pun tak macam tu ok!). I think this is the first time I am not together with my parents for Eid.

I always read the 'Salam Perantauan' section in newspapers, where Malaysians in overseas send in their Eid messages and photos to family and loved ones in Malaysia. Now I understand how they feel. It's not fun to be away from your loved ones during such festive and it is definitely not fun to be away from all the delicious home-cooked food served on the dining table. 

Nevertheless, I am very fortunate though to have such understanding parents. Love you both muaxxx! And I am pretty lucky to have my brother and sis in-law here in Klang Valley. So instead of celebrating Eid alone, I tumpang beraya with them and the in-laws :) It felt really nice, honestly. To me, they are not just any in-laws. They treated me as if I am like one of them, which made it even nicer. I can never thank enough for their hospitality. Terima kasih daun keladi :)

To all family members, friends and readers, I would like to take this opportunity to wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha. Semoga Aidil Adha kali ini membuka lebih ruang kepada kita untuk mendalami serta menghayati makna pengorbanan yang menggalakkan kita untuk melakukan lebih banyak kebaikan, InsyaAllah. I probably sounded like a politician but I really mean it from heart :) And it is best to say it in Malay hehe.

Salam Aidil Adha from both of us! Myself with the lovely but unwilling-and-hates-camera-flash-light niece, Cik Qist 

P/S: It is my mum's birthday tomorrow. Happy Birthday Ibu! May you are blessed with greater health and wealth. I love you :)

Grandma - The Lady With Vision

The nerve-wrecking news finally came. I knew that it was not a good one when my mobile phone rang at 5.30 a.m. with the caller identified as 'Ayah' on the screen. Only on rare occasions that I will get calls at such time, but that has never happened before.

I was half dozy, but I really tried hard to swallow and stomach the news that I was about to hear. Finally dad revealed it. I felt my heart dropped, but it dropped even further when my dad cried out "Nenek kau dah tak ada!" My grandmother passed away on that Monday morning.

"Oh my God, what should I do?" I asked myself after speaking to my dad. I couldn't sleep after that call and after thinking for a while, I decided to go back to dad's 'kampung' (village) for the burial ceremony. My siblings and I just came back from dad's kampung the night before, but I didn't mind going back again. Although my dad had told us we did not have to go back there if anything happened to grandma, I decided to go against his words. I never believed those words. Above all, I really wanted to be there for him because that's what he needed most, moral support and love from his loved ones. So that morning, my siblings and I went back to dad's kampung to pay our last respect to our grandmother.

Grandma or 'Nenek' as we fondly call her is a woman of her own. For a typical Malayan 'kampung' woman who was born in the 1920s, she certainly set her foresight ahead from the rest of the mothers at that time. "Nenek kau ni kalau tak ada wawasan, tak ada la Ayah belajar sampai universiti," I remembered my dad said that for few times when the subject on my grandma was brought up.

Dad told us that life was not easy for grandma, him and family back then. Although dad had to chip in by working very hard at a young age, grandma was determined and ensured that he made it to high school and tertiary education. Since my dad was the eldest son, she had envisioned him to obtain the best education that she could get or send him to. She believed that only education will improve the family's life and dad is her best bet to become the 'agent of change'. She has never mistaken for that one. It will remain forever accurate. Terror betul nenek aku ni.

I knew that deep down, grandma is a source of inspiration to my dad. Due to her very own wisdom and vision that she has set upon my father since young, I believed dad was personally motivated by it when he decided to pursue for his Masters studies. He braved himself to apply for the course and scholarship. He took the challenge and finally, he was awarded with the Masters degree from a US university. I think since then, my dad had somehow became the icon in his kampung for his success.

Nenek, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for giving birth and bringing up a great son and father that I could never ask for. I will not and shall not change it for anything. He is simply the best and when a person is at his or her best, it is due (fully or partly) to the mother.

We may not be like BFFs, but I will never forget your last few words before, "Bila nak kahwin? Cari la yang 'lawa'! Hihihi..." Your naughty tease with that cheeky laugh is pretty memorable until today. Yes Nenek, your granddaughter here is still on the hunt for the handsome (or 'handsome') eligible bachelor. 

May your soul is blessed by the Almighty Allah. Amin.

My True Solace

We may be rich.
We may be famous.
We may be successful.

But is that our very own true solace?

I'm sure each and everyone of us owns it, some may know it well and some may not realise it all but subconsciously do. And there are also some of us who are still searching for it, which I hope they will discover it. For myself, after years of pursuit, I've never known that it was so close to me. Too close that I've been blind to see it.

I think most of teenagers and young adults would secretly feel relieved and excited when they finally get the offer letter to pursue tertiary education in universities and colleges, or at least the moment you leave your parents' house. Well, that is including myself too, which means away from home, away from parents and freedom! "Yeehaaaa! I am free! Cheers to new life!" my heart was thumping with excitement when I first stepped in to the university. I love my parents and family for sure, but starting a different path of life with less supervision from them would be somewhat interesting to me I thought.

So there. I studied, had happy and jovial times with buddies and besties, graduated with a degree, got a job and started working until now. I have my own life, I face challenges but yet, I am happy with my overall life. Yes, I am happy but deep down, I know that I desire for that one true, pure happiness. The true solace that would give me the ultimate strength to go on with my life.

Whenever I have issues, I speak to my besties about it. I share it with them. They understand me very well, give me advice and the support that I need. I feel a huge relief after that but still, I just do not know why it seemed not enough. "What's next?" I asked myself. Then, I slowly decided to turn to my parents and family,the people that I once find to be lovingly strict with almost anything. When I first thought of pouring out my heart to them, I hesitated immediately. "Should I do that?" I wondered myself. But in the end, I did it anyway.

To my surprise, it was different than what I expected. They understood me and felt the exact way I felt. It was just amazing. It never crossed my mind that the exchange showed their sincere compassion and care towards my living and survival, although I am far away from them.

Now I have the very answer that I seek for. It is not only my sorrow, but also my happiness that lies within the genuine souls, the loving hearts and the sincere smiles of my family. No matter how far I run, I will always be drawn to my family. It is an unbreakable bond and that goes without saying truthfully. 

Nowadays, I cannot wait to go back home to be with my parents, siblings, niece and nephews for get-together. The sharing, the voices, laughters and almost everything that we did together are my life's best remedies. It cannot be replaced with anything else. Blessed with my trusted besties and buddies, I can't describe how meaningful my life is, which I am very thankful. 

Some people may choose money, wealth or success as their true solace, which is fine because everyone has a choice in their life. However, I choose my family over everything. Cliché as it may sound, I however am not ashamed of it.

Ibu, Ayah, the Z's, Qist, Is, Baby Zac and the rest, you are my one true solace.

"Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!" - Albert Einstein

Riang Ria Aidilfitri

Hari Raya this year was one of the best celebrated from my personal opinion. Why? Well, my parents and all my siblings including my niece and nephews were around at home. So that makes a perfect gathering for the whole family! With lots of food and activities, what more can I say right?

Truthfully, the people who actually really rocked my Hari Raya celebration were my niece and nephews. Without them, I think it would definitely be dull and quite boring. The children brought the joy and sparked the delightfulness of the festive itself.

I decided to share photos of my niece and nephews only during our Raya holidays. Well, the Hari Raya was obviously about them! Tunjuk gambar-gambar orang tua ni bosan, sebab semua lebih kurang sama jer hehe.

My "Welcome Back!" drawing for the kids when they arrived. From left: Qist, Is and Baby Zac. Qist hates my drawing of her. Oh well, your aunt is not blessed with a pair of arty-farty hands!

Asyik main Ipad jer orang berdua ni, especially Is! How to pull them away from Ipad???

First trick, ajak buat kuih! Rajin Qist ni, bagus dia tolong Aunty Tzar

Qist makin bersemangat nak tolong aunty-aunty and Tok Ibu dia, so dia tolong prepare untuk berbuka :)

Kanak-kanak riang gembira main bunga api. Lupa terus kat Ipad!

Pose for first day of Hari Raya

Baby Zac pun nak posing gak untuk Raya!

Posing santai

Me with camera: Ok say picnic! Kids: Piiiicccccniiiiiic! 

Dapat kawan-kawan baru, terus berjimba sakan!

From the older generation to the young one. Ibu showing her old, family photo to Qist

Forget about the Ipad. Flying the kite is even more fun! Is learning how to fly the kite

Qist flying the kite high! Ecstatic moment

Qist blowing bubbles away, which attracted other kids as well. So cute!

Lego time! Qist and Aunty Zana pasang strategi. Is tukang tengok jer

Eh Baby Zac pun nak join main lego jugak! Qist terus pening and almost give up nak fikirkan strategi

Happy kids with the final outcome (walhal makcik-makcik kena buli untuk siapkan lego ni, cheh!)

Precious time indeed!