My True Solace

We may be rich.
We may be famous.
We may be successful.

But is that our very own true solace?

I'm sure each and everyone of us owns it, some may know it well and some may not realise it all but subconsciously do. And there are also some of us who are still searching for it, which I hope they will discover it. For myself, after years of pursuit, I've never known that it was so close to me. Too close that I've been blind to see it.

I think most of teenagers and young adults would secretly feel relieved and excited when they finally get the offer letter to pursue tertiary education in universities and colleges, or at least the moment you leave your parents' house. Well, that is including myself too, which means away from home, away from parents and freedom! "Yeehaaaa! I am free! Cheers to new life!" my heart was thumping with excitement when I first stepped in to the university. I love my parents and family for sure, but starting a different path of life with less supervision from them would be somewhat interesting to me I thought.

So there. I studied, had happy and jovial times with buddies and besties, graduated with a degree, got a job and started working until now. I have my own life, I face challenges but yet, I am happy with my overall life. Yes, I am happy but deep down, I know that I desire for that one true, pure happiness. The true solace that would give me the ultimate strength to go on with my life.

Whenever I have issues, I speak to my besties about it. I share it with them. They understand me very well, give me advice and the support that I need. I feel a huge relief after that but still, I just do not know why it seemed not enough. "What's next?" I asked myself. Then, I slowly decided to turn to my parents and family,the people that I once find to be lovingly strict with almost anything. When I first thought of pouring out my heart to them, I hesitated immediately. "Should I do that?" I wondered myself. But in the end, I did it anyway.

To my surprise, it was different than what I expected. They understood me and felt the exact way I felt. It was just amazing. It never crossed my mind that the exchange showed their sincere compassion and care towards my living and survival, although I am far away from them.

Now I have the very answer that I seek for. It is not only my sorrow, but also my happiness that lies within the genuine souls, the loving hearts and the sincere smiles of my family. No matter how far I run, I will always be drawn to my family. It is an unbreakable bond and that goes without saying truthfully. 

Nowadays, I cannot wait to go back home to be with my parents, siblings, niece and nephews for get-together. The sharing, the voices, laughters and almost everything that we did together are my life's best remedies. It cannot be replaced with anything else. Blessed with my trusted besties and buddies, I can't describe how meaningful my life is, which I am very thankful. 

Some people may choose money, wealth or success as their true solace, which is fine because everyone has a choice in their life. However, I choose my family over everything. Cliché as it may sound, I however am not ashamed of it.

Ibu, Ayah, the Z's, Qist, Is, Baby Zac and the rest, you are my one true solace.

"Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!" - Albert Einstein

Riang Ria Aidilfitri

Hari Raya this year was one of the best celebrated from my personal opinion. Why? Well, my parents and all my siblings including my niece and nephews were around at home. So that makes a perfect gathering for the whole family! With lots of food and activities, what more can I say right?

Truthfully, the people who actually really rocked my Hari Raya celebration were my niece and nephews. Without them, I think it would definitely be dull and quite boring. The children brought the joy and sparked the delightfulness of the festive itself.

I decided to share photos of my niece and nephews only during our Raya holidays. Well, the Hari Raya was obviously about them! Tunjuk gambar-gambar orang tua ni bosan, sebab semua lebih kurang sama jer hehe.

My "Welcome Back!" drawing for the kids when they arrived. From left: Qist, Is and Baby Zac. Qist hates my drawing of her. Oh well, your aunt is not blessed with a pair of arty-farty hands!

Asyik main Ipad jer orang berdua ni, especially Is! How to pull them away from Ipad???

First trick, ajak buat kuih! Rajin Qist ni, bagus dia tolong Aunty Tzar

Qist makin bersemangat nak tolong aunty-aunty and Tok Ibu dia, so dia tolong prepare untuk berbuka :)

Kanak-kanak riang gembira main bunga api. Lupa terus kat Ipad!

Pose for first day of Hari Raya

Baby Zac pun nak posing gak untuk Raya!

Posing santai

Me with camera: Ok say picnic! Kids: Piiiicccccniiiiiic! 

Dapat kawan-kawan baru, terus berjimba sakan!

From the older generation to the young one. Ibu showing her old, family photo to Qist

Forget about the Ipad. Flying the kite is even more fun! Is learning how to fly the kite

Qist flying the kite high! Ecstatic moment

Qist blowing bubbles away, which attracted other kids as well. So cute!

Lego time! Qist and Aunty Zana pasang strategi. Is tukang tengok jer

Eh Baby Zac pun nak join main lego jugak! Qist terus pening and almost give up nak fikirkan strategi

Happy kids with the final outcome (walhal makcik-makcik kena buli untuk siapkan lego ni, cheh!)

Precious time indeed!

Meaningful Iftar

It's fasting month. A challenging month by day but comes with great rewards, which include the Iftar or breaking fast session when it is dusk. Everyone including myself would look forward to this after a long-day without food and water. And that is just one small test to a humble servant.

To me, it is not just the variety of food that makes my Iftar more meaningful (not that I ate greedily!) this time but the moments I had with my loved ones. It was truly delightful but yet, there was a certain feeling in me that felt the Iftar sessions I had were very important and in need indeed. The food, catch up and laughter, surrounded with pure warmth and happiness filled the gaps that we probably have long missed due to other life commitments and refreshed the intimacy of our bond ties.

The Iftar this time was more meaningful to me too because I decided to do what I had to do. After hugging and preparing to leave for home, I quickly slipped in by saying 'thank you for the friendship' to some of my friends. Some got it in a form of card with that sort of message. This is definitely new to my friends and myself. And because it is very new, the immediate response that I got was "Are you okay?", "Kau ni betul ke tak?" or "Eh kenapa cakap macam ni?". Trust me friends, I am fine and there is nothing wrong with me. And I don't intend to give some sort of signal of what is going to happen to me in future (mudah-mudahan dijauhkan sebarang malapetaka dan bala bencana). 

I just need to say that because that is how much I value our friendship (besides my precious family). I very much treasure the long years of friendship we had and to let time slipped by for our own busyness is just too cruel. Friendship is not to be taken for granted. We may feel it is awkward to say such things to our friends, but what is wrong with that? How often do we get to meet? So this is the least that I could do to remind ourselves and I said it at a perfect time with Syawal coming soon.  

I am probably getting more sentimental but I have no regrets.  May the great bond sides upon us, for the present and future.

Thank you for the friendship, my dearest friends.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” ― William Shakespeare